I was Googling through the internetz and realized that people are psyched out about the fact that Bigfoot is a vagina piercing ape which exists in the shadows of random forests around the world. 

Despite so much popularity, there does not exist ONE single photo of Bigfoot which is ‘sharp’ or of ‘high quality’. I mean, seriously? In the time when even prostitutes take photos of their passed out clients with their iPhones, people use a polaroid camera to take pictures of a beast which can go down in history?

Either that, or the fucking beast doesn’t exist at all! And how come, whenever someone films Bigfoot, its always shot from the first ever Handycam ever made, and that too in the year 2012.

Come on fuckers, take a decent photo and prove that the beast is real. My honest opinion about the whole thing is; Bigfoot is actually pedo bear. That’s all I can say.